How To Use Your Break Up Pain Like Medicine To Get Back With Your Ex

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Do you remember that horrific,absolutely disgusting, non palatable medicine that you just had to take when you were sick? Didn't your taste buds tell your brain to shut down all oral functions in anticipation of it's offensive nastiness?  Your jaw tightens and your teeth clinch.  Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth as if it's been ladled with Krazy Glue! Then you have to hold your nose & force yourself to swallow, while your stomach is careening like a cement mixer? 


The only reason any person in their right mind would subject themselves to such torture is because they would have to really believe that that particular medicine could sooth or cure what ailed them!  Therefore, they are willing to pull up their bootstraps and march through the horrible taste, to the glorious & victorious destination of the cure?


Pain is a lot like that kind of medicine, especially breakup pain.  If you think you see a "cure" for the pain you feel--which could be another man or woman, someone more handsome, prettier, younger, less nagging, makes more money, etc. You are all too quickly willing to swallow the breakup pain of your recent ex.  Unfortunately, that doesn't cure your symptoms, so you end up regurgitating it onto the new relationship.  Definitely not sexy!



So, how do mature adults handle breakup pain?  If you really want to get back with your ex, you can use breakup pain like a medicine that aids in that process, and here are some useful tips on how to use it correctly.


The medicine of breakup pain may be used in only 1 of 2 ways--that's the good news (it's not rocket science).  Either it can make you BITTER OR BETTER.  This is BITTER----->

(You don't want that do you? :-D)


Pause and really think about that a moment.  You can't think of another way can you?  That's because this is TRUTH, and there is no way to get around it, so accept it and 
let's move on to BETTER--------------------->

because when you are dumped, you automatically think of millions of ways to be BITTER.  Aaaah... but the "dumper" can be BITTER too, but we'll save that for another article!

First you must RECOVER from the trauma of breaking up with your ex.  It's okay to "feel the feelings", but don't allow your feelings to dictate your actions.  The primary way that people all over the world cope with losing their ex is writing-reading sad love poems.  Take a moment to Google it.  You will discover over 100K+ searches a month!  Writing or reading sad love poems is one of the most effectively cathartic means of using breakup pain as a medicine to heal a broken heart while considering getting back with your ex.  Within the secrets of your writings, you may discover the real reason that you broke up in the first place and, you may uncover a poet or scintillating author under that heaving blanket of breakup pain! 

Once your emotions are controlled effectively, you will be able to think more clearly.  Thereby gaining a logical perspective by which to analyze your relationship with your ex.  Perspective is key when you attempt to understand. Therefore, you may choose to look at your break up from the healthy upright position of truth rather than from the fetal position of grueling pain.  Things look a lot bigger than they really are from the embryonic position.

I must digress here --We are constantly AMAZED by people who implement these first few steps!  Once the TRUTH is accepted, they've made the decision to be BETTER, and began cathartic writing for their emotional state, their mental acuity clears to crystal clarity as they proclaim, "I never saw 'it' that way before!"  Once their "it" is identified, the next step toward healing and reconciliation is easily implemented. However there is one more baby step before complete healing is achieved, that is...

Understanding and forgiveness!  A very wise old doctor once said to me, "Pain, whether real or imagined--is still pain, and pain signals ignored can cause crippling injury to the bodyIt's nature's warning signal that something is wrong."  He added, "...And the part that hurts may not be the actual source of the pain."  



OVER 50,000 PEOPLE WORLD-WIDE HELPED SO FAR!
Has your ex repeatedly accused you of doing something you didn't do or visa versa? Have you or they exclaimed "hurt" over the way a point is stated? Or did you get caught cheating? Whatever the cause of your break up with your ex, take a good look at the reason behind it before considering getting your ex back.  What need did u or they have that was not being fulfilled?  What expectation was not being met?  

These first few steps may take months of patience and practice, but the results may be applied to all your relationships, your ex, and your personal well-being as a powerful wellness agent-- just like that fowl-tasting medicine--Disgusting to your palate, but healing for your soul, which may fuel an attempt to getting your ex back into your life!

Roslyn Johnson, EzineArticles.com Basic Author

How To Make The First Steps To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back In My Arms

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What were the steps that caused your ex boyfriend to break it off with you? He may have been saying it all along, but sometime we just don't hear it...or don't want to. Did he say it outright or did he say something like, "I just need space...." or "I don't know what you want from me!" Or could you feel him just slowly drift away from your love, then one day he was just gone... Does that pretty much sum it up?

The steps he took to leave, can be turned into the stepping-stones for his return, did you know that? Think you're ready to set the first stepping-stone by absorbing this good information on how to make the first steps to getting my ex boyfriend back in my arms?
Then congratulations you found the right article! You have already learned to confront this common relationship problem head-on, which takes real courage! Otherwise, you'd just settle. But not you...you want the best way to learn how to make the first steps to get your ex boyfriend back, so let's handle business...shall we?

No doubt you may be on that whacky "E" ticket ("E"=Emotional) roller-coaster of "I love him--I hate him". You have lots of anxiety about getting your ex back? Let's begin by breaking up the hard ground and then smoothing it over to get a level surface to place your first stone, hmm?

Do an honestly assessment of how you are acting toward him right now. If you are trying to "force" the issue and rekindle the romance immediately by calling--texting way too much, or trying to make him feel sorry for you, please stop it right now!
Those kinds of manipulative actions automatically prohibit taking the first steps to get your ex boyfriend back in your arms, thereby making it impossible to create stepping-stones for his return! Say that last sentence out-loud to yourself right now, repeat as needed.

The nature of the human heart actually dictates the exact opposite response that you desire when you apply that kind of pressure! For example, if you keep after him, he will either crumble (pity...feel obligated, instead of actually wanting to be with you), push back (have you declared a stalker. Ever heard of a "Restraining Order"?...hmm, could be), or flee (bye to the bye-bye). He WILL NOT, however, give you his whole heart or love you the way you desire to be loved in return under your manipulation....get it? He will resist it and probably FORCE him to slam--deadbolt the door & pour gasoline on the stepping stones and light it with one of your old Victoria's Secret bras!

However, by learning how to make the first steps to get my ex boyfriend back, makes it much easier...by quietly & strategically placing those return stepping-stones in his path. This can greatly increase the odds a romantic reunion naturally.

Introducing a bold new approach...it takes a little courage (but you've proven that you have that already ;-))

Begin by ending communication period...find something else that interests you. Change your focus to your own life and ways you can give it a make-over. Do you remember how to surprise yourself? It may not be as challenging as you think to NOT dwell on relationship stuff. You just might discover something wonderful about yourself!

While you are doing your thing...you ex will have time to "shift gears" in his emotions regarding you. He may never openly admit it, but he will notice your absence of pursuit of him. Listen up, nothing works to re-peak a man's interest in you like time, curiosity, & mystery! These things may really work in your favor and change the odds of rekindling romance drastically.

In other words, give the man time to "miss you". He can't miss you if you are all over him all the time can he? This can work to re-charge his curiosity and the mysterous allure that guided him your way in the first place. And if he calls, keep it brief, non-informative, and always have "something else to do" to cut the conversation short.

Suggestions for short conversations: Always drop something you know he loved about you. For example, if he always mentioned that he loved your perfume, let him know that that "something else to do" is shopping for a new scent and don't give him time to respond before you hang up with a pleasent, "gotta go". It totally subliminal in the human heart and mind! New scent, New you....get it? BTW, When IS the last time you went shopping for a new signature scent? Why not treat yourself today?

Remember what the human heart--pressure lesson? Please remember this #1 stone-stepping concept when repairing a breakup or in any relationship-- "Work with the heart, not against it." That takes precedent over any advice given on how to make the first steps to get my ex boyfriend back in my arms.

Proceed now to get your first step in place & keep building...it will give your ex time to realize why he pursued you in the first place, provide you with more mystery and allure and improve your own emotional being and self-worth at the same time! Allow him to make the first move (that might go against your feminist views, but so what?). If you want him back, allow him to be the man (part of a man's heart--nature is to pursue...but, don't run too fast! And please don't throw the stepping stones--LOL!).

There you have it! Today, you have initiated construction of how to take the first steps to get my ex boyfriend back in my arms, and the "how" & "why" you should avoid those relationship-threatening mistakes.

May you discover all the love your heart desires!

WIN BACK YOUR EX BOYFRIEND'S HEART!

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Do you feel like you just can't please your boyfriend? Like whatever you do or say pushes him further away? Is this an accurate description? Are you asking "how to win your ex boyfriend's heart back" all times of the day and night? Does he stay on your mind, even though you try not to think about it?


Then you came to the right place...here is the first steps that will increase the probability of getting back into your boyfriend's heart in a positive way, and possibly pave the way for his return to your love! You've got to be really serious about learning how to win your ex boyfriend's heart again, or you wouldn't be reading this blog.

However, if you are caving into the anxiety of loss, or the jealousy of possessiveness, you might be behaving in a way that drives him farther away, rather than reminding him of the special warmth you shared when you were together. Remember--No one in their right mind willingly embraces manipulation, bad temperament, or a controlling personality. It's simply human nature to reject that type of pressure. Focusing your energies directly against human nature is fruitless and futile. That type of behavior only serves as stepping stones for his untimely PERMANENT departure!

Let's be honest have you been texting--calling him 5,10,20-times a day or more? Slamming his inbox with emails? Are you pulling on his heart strings to make him pity you? If you answer yes to these questions & more, please stop...cease & desist now! If you are asking yourself, "How to win your ex boyfriend's heart" then you need to get a hold of your emotions right now and stop the insanity, as you are only hurting yourself!

Now then, how to win back your ex boyfriend's heart? Why not try a tested, expert & proven strategy instead?
This approach may seem new & strange to you, but it's the only chance you really have for your ex to even consider getting back with you...it will improve the odds of that happening drastically--if you are willing.

First step--Cut off all communication for a while, just tend to your business...do your thing. If you are still living with him, be civil--but quiet. Pay him very little or no attention and proceed with your own life. Do nothing for him nor against him. Stay neutral quietly while being happily progressive in your care of self, and treat yourself really well--both in his presence and out! Make that an unbreakable habit!

Now within the time of non-communication between you & your ex boyfriend--Focus your energies, time & talents on upgrading your personal life. apart from the current relationship problems. That may by challenging, and it takes a little discipline at first, but you will feel your progression grow stronger every day! Eventually, you will be free from those burdensome, depressing relationship thoughts. This will in turn, supercharge your feelings of well being.

Meanwhile, this gives your ex an opportunity to "shift-gears" in the way he regards you. Giving him time to experience the "loss" of you--Because you are no longer nagging, or chasing him down! You might even become a mystery to him in a way, because now he doesn't know exactly what to think or how he feels about your new attitude toward him. His heart may become curious (remember to work with human nature in this area, not against it), but give him very little to go on during this time.

This strategy has tested well and can very easily work in your favor. Here is where your ex has the opportunity to really miss you, which is otherwise NOT PROBABLE OR POSSIBLE when you were all over him! Remember this--the key to learning "How to win back your ex boyfriend's heart" or trying to repair a broken relationship is to work with the human heart, rather than focusing your energies against it.

Hopefully, you should understand how to avoid those nasty relationship-threatening mistakes that can so easily be avoided. By applying this basic strategy, you can reach a wonderful balance that gives your ex a chance to recall the reasons he fell in love with you from the beginning!

A Brief Recap-- Redirect your energies and create positive improvements both on and for yourself. Be still (peaceful & quietly tend to your business). Treat yourself exceptionally well. Avoid the temptation to stalk or harass him in any way. Make yourself mysterious and give him time to remember why he loved you. Don't make it too easy for him to come back (play hard to get--but not too hard ;-)! Allow him to make the 1st gesture--remember a man's heart is designed as "the pursuer" (recall the human heart lessons you've learned here), so let him be a man! You will become more alluring either way and you can stop wondering, "How to win back your ex boyfriend's heart".

Most of all, have courage...and know that those miserable feelings will pass!

If this article was helpful to you, feel free to "like us" on facebook, subscribe,share, tweet and/or post a comment...more to come next week!

...and that's all she wrote,
Roslyn
Roslyn Johnson, EzineArticles.com Basic Author